Staying Calm and Cool Amid Criticism
“Speak in anger and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” This popular quote is a cautionary tale of what could happen if we let our emotions get the best of us.
Yet, it’s understandable to have an emotional reaction when you receive criticism. You may feel defensive. You may want to explain yourself and defend your actions.
So how can you stay calm and cool amid criticism? When you feel your blood pressure rising? When you’re trying to resist the urge to lash out?
Here are a few proven strategies—and some creative suggestions from participants in my communication presentations—that may help you keep your cool when you receive criticism.
Pause and Breathe—and Get Creative
Before responding and saying something you might regret, pause. Take a deep breath and allow yourself a few seconds to absorb what’s being said. That brief break may be just enough time to calm yourself, prepare a productive response and keep your emotions in check.
When I’ve asked my audiences for their variations on the “pause-and-breathe” strategy, they’ve gotten quite creative. Here are a few responses they suggested for putting some space between you and your knee-jerk reaction:
- Count to 10. Or better yet, count backwards.
- Picture the person as a caricature or cartoon.
- Push the imaginary “mute button;” their mouth is moving but you don’t hear a sound.
- Squeeze a muscle, preferably one that is not visible (clenching the jaw doesn’t qualify; the other person can see it).
- Envision a pleasant scene – your most recent vacation, smiling faces of your kids
Separate the Message from the Messenger
It’s easy to get caught up in how the message is being delivered as well as who is delivering the message. Maybe the person is expressing the message in a blunt or harsh way. Or maybe the person sharing the negative feedback is someone you’ve had a difference of opinion with in the past. It’s important to focus on what is being said and whether there’s anything valuable to take away from it.
Acknowledge Without Agreeing
When criticized, another way to keep your emotions in check is to simply acknowledge the other’s person’s perspective without necessarily agreeing with them. That will at least buy you some time to get a grip on yourself before you give further thought to their feedback. You can say something like “I see what you’re saying.” Or “Thank you for the feedback.”
So, staying calm and cool amid criticism can keep you from saying something you might regret—and more importantly, it can keep you from missing an opportunity to learn something about yourself and grow from it.
source http://www.expertclick.com/NewsRelease/Staying-Calm-and-Cool-Amid-Criticism,2024306876.aspx
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